AMP: Homosexual Marriage

Should a Christian man who struggles with homosexuality marry a woman?

Albert Mohler was asked this question by e-mail and the reply he gave this "Ask Anything Wednesday" was about the least thoughtful replies he ever gave on a show.
Dr. Mohlers reply was if I may summon it this way: It's OK to enter into marriage once you discover that you are unhappy with your life as a single.

There are many good secular arguments why this advise is bad advise. But I will toss them aside for this reasoning. Not because they aren't valid but I think that biblical reasoning against Dr. Mohlers advise has a higher persuasiveness for you (if you stumble over this article) and because I hope and I expect Dr. Mohler to correct himself once he has read this article.

First: Why am I in any way competent to give an answer to this question? I'm a homosexual myself and for this reason I know how strong the attraction to men for a homosexual man is. I also know what it would mean to have to be intimate with a woman and most important of all for the reasoning: I observed the conservative christian community for more than a year now. I've read the bible. By that I'm able to rationalize Christian ethics as good as very few Christians themselves can.

Marriage isn't primarily about you. Just like anything on this world isn't primarily about you but about the glory of God. Marriage finds it special glory as it represents the relationship between Jesus and his Church in which the Christian Man has to play the role of Jesus and the Christian woman the role of the Church.
This relationship is defined by unconditional love, trust and absolute intimacy. Just as Jesus and his Church are intimate to each other a husband and a wife have to be intimate with each other.
To enter marriage you have to be fully willing to be fully intimate with your wife. When you take your marriage vow in church you also promise your wife to be intimate with her, just like Jesus promised an intimate relationship with his Church.
So let he take your question literally: Should I enter into marriage if I struggle with homosexuality.
- No
That you struggle with homosexuality means that you can't be fully intimate with your wife. The idea of being sexually intimate with a woman is disgusting for me. I can have women as best friends, as colleagues I could even imagine to share an apartment with a woman I call myself. But I couldn't enter into a sexually intimate relationship with her. And if your are struggling with homosexuality and you are honest to yourself you know that you couldn't also be sexually intimate with a women without feelings of repulsion.
When Jesus entered into the intimate relationship with his Church he did that with full love and having this desire to be intimate as he entered the covenant. When you stand in front of that altar and you take this marriage vow you have to do it in love to your future spouse in in the full willingness to be intimate with her. If take this vow not being sure whether you can be fully intimate with your wife, in desire and not in repulsion, you are lying to God, the congregation, to your wife and to yourself by taking this vow.
You also can't do this in the mindset that God will bless you and your marriage in making the sexual intimacy less repulsive to you once you are married. There's a simple word for the mindset that once I enter into marriage the Holy Spirit will change your mind to be able to have a desire for sexual intimacy with a woman: blackmail.
You would also be trying to blackmail God, by saying that he will change you once you enter into marriage. If God wants to heal you from your sexual attraction to men he will do it when he thinks that it's time to do that. If you believe that you can accelerate Gods decision to help you overcome that attraction you are questioning Gods sovereignty.

To summon it up, if you enter into a marriage with a woman while struggling with homosexuality you are:
- lying to God
- lying to your congregation
- lying to your wife
- doubting Gods sovereignty
- You aren't loving your neighbor like you love yourself (because you would never want that someone who feels repulsion at the thought of being sexually intimate with you marries you)

I hope I could dissipate all doubts that it's a really bad idea to marry a woman while struggling with homosexuality based on a Christian worldview.

If this answer contains theological errors I encourage you to write me why it does.
(after all, I'm still an atheist)